Out to lunch again: Officially tongue-tied

Out to lunch again: Officially tongue-tied, by David Bullard.

Out to lunch again: Officially tongue-tied, by David Bullard.

Cara Bouwer, Business Day, wrote: An assortment of columns in Out to lunch again might seem a little like going over old ground, but Bullard's laconic and readable style makes this collection of writings a treat, like tongue-tied.

Officially tongue-tied: Why, I wonder, do we have 11 official languages? The only logical explanation is that the ANC government was trying hard to please all cultural groups when it first came to power. It was a noble gesture at the time but one which was bound to lead to problems. Did anyone seriously expect that road signs would appear in all 11 official languages and that there would be a separate SABC TV channel for each language group? Apparently they did. The ANC is now under fire for insensitively carrying on with the use of English and Afrikaans, the languages of our wretched colonial past. The issue seems to be not so much that English was the language of colonial oppression as an apparent desire on the part of some to use South Africa's more obscure languages simply because they just happen to be designated official languages. It's no more than 'designer language' snobbery of course, and those advocating the use of anything other than English are missing the whole point of language. If it's communication with the rest of the world you're after then you can't do much better than English.

If South Africa had been colonised by Eskimos we'd all be looking pretty silly now. No one, apart from Eskimos, would understand a word of what we wrote or said. Conversations about whale blubber or the fact that you know several hundred different Inuit words for snow are of limited use when you're trying to persuade the rest of the world to allow you to hold the 2010 Soccer World Cup. Fortunately, South Africa was colonised by the English so we can communicate with all civilised nations (that is, those which speak English) and even with the Americans, who speak a form of English. Thanks to the days when Britannia still ruled the waves, English is spoken and understood all over the world. One might have hoped for a little more gratitude from those who advocate using their own barely developed tongues instead of English.

The reason English is so popular is because it is a language that has been allowed to develop over hundreds of years with little interference from politicians. It has adopted and adapted words from other languages - a brilliant ruse by the Brits to keep foreigners happy. It invented wonderful words like 'tentiginous', which means lust-provoking, and 'melcryptoves-timentaphilia', which means a fondness for women's black underwear, while other languages were still trying to come up with words for goat, table and a lack of rain. Only a language as rich as English could give us the crossword puzzle. Ever heard of a San crossword puzzle, for example?

Air-traffic control is conducted in English the world over and for a very good reason. If the Wright brothers had been Zulus then guess what the international language of air-traffic controllers would have been? But they weren't, so it's English. Calls for the ANC to pay more attention to our neglected official languages are nothing more than cultural vanity. To stop this nonsense the ANC should declare English the one official language of South Africa. If other cultural groups want to protect and develop their own languages then that's their business, but they can't expect this country to prosper unless we speak the same language as our trading partners. N'est-ce pas?

Officially tongue-tied is an extract from the book: Out to lunch again, by David Bullard.

Book title: Out to lunch again
Author: David Bullard
Publisher: Jonathan Ball
Cape Town, South Africa 2005
ISBN 9781868422356
Softcover, 15x22 cm, 144 pages

Bullard, David im Namibiana-Buchangebot

Out to lunch again

Out to lunch again

Out to lunch again is an assortment of David Bullard's incorrect, satirical, funny articles he wrote for the Sunday Times in South Africa.

Weitere Buchempfehlungen

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The book breaks down countless South African stereotypes and is beautifully researched, perceptive, humane

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Die roman Die sirkel van bekende dinge is ’n vuishou in die maag; die styl so evokatief soos die Karoolandskap waar die verhaal afspeel.